What Story Will You Choose?
We all have a story, and that story is the fabric of our life. This story shapes your beliefs about yourself and the world, and we let it control how we experience life every day.
For some people, it is a story of victory; whether from their own triumph of overcoming obstacles, or simply life has just been good to them. For others, it is a story of tragedy; maybe from one major traumatic event or from multiple events that just compounded over the years.
What I have learned is that we must be careful about the stories we tell. Stories can be fun and wonderful, and they can also be a prison. You see, we all experience trial and hardship in life in all its many forms, and those experiences become our stories.
These stories shape our lives. What most people don’t realize is that although we cannot control what life, God, the Universe gives us, we can control what we choose to believe about it, and we get to choose what we do with it.
Before I go on, no matter what you have been through, I want you to know that I am sorry you had to go through it. I know it was hard, or is hard, and I am sorry for the pain that you have felt because of what you went through. Please know that I see you, that I am holding space for you to heal, and that no matter what you have been through, or how messy it is, I am here for you.
Maybe growing up or even now you were bullied, someone abused you, or maybe the people who were supposed to love you most in this world treated you like shit or left you. Perhaps your heart was broken, the only person you loved passed away, or you have always felt alone in this world. You were humiliated, caught up with the wrong crowd, or made to feel like you were different or like something was wrong with you.
Maybe you felt so much pain in your life that you hurt others, or even worse, you hurt yourself. Maybe you felt the weight of the pain and did not know how to get past it, so you shut yourself down from the world. Maybe you were told you could never amount to anything because of where you came from, your gender, or the color of your skin. Whether it is one of things I listed or one of the thousands of other pains it could have been, please know you are not alone, you can get past this, and you can heal.
This life we live is a beautiful gift, but it can seem really ugly at times. It can feel cruel and unfair, and I hear you. I’ve been there. I’ve felt that. I have felt those feelings, closed off my heart, and lived in the beliefs that I was alone, not enough, unworthy, an outcast, and I remember days where I never thought I would make it through.
I am here to tell you though that you can and you will get through it. You are stronger than you think are, and tough times don’t last forever. I am also here to say to you that what has happened to you does not have to be a story of tragedy. If you made it through and are here to tell the story today, it is a story of victory.
Even the darkest times are victory because it is in those dark times that we grow, we gain strength, and we can find our power. If we can change the meaning of what happened, we can change the story. If we can change our perspective, we can change the story. When we can stop viewing ourselves as victims and see all the ways it made us the victor, we can change our story.
This doesn’t happen overnight, so be patient. This can only happen when we have felt the absolute weight of the pain without numbing or pushing it away. Only then can we forgive and let go. It doesn’t have to be baggage we carry around or a prison we lock ourselves in. The experience and story become our wings that we use to fly into freedom.
In that freedom we can help free others. You see, when you look at what you have been through as a gift, as life happening FOR you as Tony Robbins would say, you can make a new story, assign a new meaning, use it to make you stronger than hell. Then you can use that power to help open up that gift for other people.
We get to choose what every event that happens means to us. We get to decide what we do with it, and we get to decide whether we feel joy every day or pain every day. So I am challenging you today to take a look at your life. Is joy or pain your primary emotion? Take a look at the meanings and beliefs that you have assigned to things and how they may have shaped your emotions, your view of the world, and most importantly your view of yourself. Just remember you can change it at any moment.
If you are in a dark place and in the midst of hard times right now, or something happened and you just can’t move past it and now you have deemed yourself unlovable, unworthy, and not enough, please hear me when I say it is not true and you do not have to stay stuck there. You deserve better than that.
I want you to remember your strength, remember you are not alone, and know that although it’s not okay right now, it will be okay sometime soon. I am here to help you heal so you can turn your story into a story of Victory.
I believe I went through what I did and healed myself so I can help others, and that is exactly what I am here to do. Just as I said above, no matter how messy it feels, I am here for you, you are not alone, you are more than enough, and you are loved.
If you want to build a new story and experience joy as your primary emotion, let’s do it together so you can build an open-hearted life, a life authentic to the real you and a life you love.
I love you sister,
Melanie Warner says
You are a great writer and have such amazing insight into the feelings I have as well as many others! Knowing you went through all you did, I am so proud of you for making it into a positive experience, healing and finding the love of your life so early in your life. I hope your whole life will be as happy as you are now or better!
Thank you so much!! You are so sweet, and I hope what I share can help and inspire you as well!